Review of Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009) by Jonathan R — 13 Jul 2011

There's really a lot to dislike in this movie. Like, a lot. There's the astoundingly uninteresting/routine plot. There's the buckets and buckets of melodramatic-ism. There's the lack of a single laugh out loud joke.

There's the genuinely contemptable kid with no hope for redemption. Oh, and the script, oh my god, some of the dialogue in this somehow both routine and choppy mass of blah just hurts. BUT. If I had to pick one cherry atop the whole thing, it would be that when you finally get to the end it holds no conclusion save the "tune in next time!" Seriously, did they even watch it afterwards and consider just how they were going to get any one who saw it in theaters to pick up a copy? I mean, it sucks and it's not even complete? Seriously.

This is terrible terrible thing.