Review of Cinema Paradiso (1988) by Diego T — 17 Feb 2014

Oh, good holy God. I don't know if it's because I've been watching some great movies recently, or if the cynicism I gained from Man of Steal Your Money has worn off... but this is the second 10/10 I've handed out in the past two weeks. Jesus, that's not normal. But honestly, if I didn't give Cinema Paradiso a 10/10, I doubt that I'd be able to live with myself, because this movie made me cry like a baby. I don't expect anyone to take this review seriously, because I was completely manipulated by this shamelessly sentimental movie... still though, you can't argue with the results. It combines movies and nostalgia, two things that, when put together, will strike a chord with me no matter what. Exception: Hugo.

Cinema Paradiso is the story of a young boy named Salvatore living in a small town in Italy in the mid-20th century. He has a love of movies, and constantly sneaks in to see them at the local theater. The projectionist, Alfredo, acts as a father figure to Salvatore, giving him parts of the celluloid, advice, and a safe place to come to and enjoy movies. Okay, why not just shoot my fucking cat right in front of me? This is a shameless attempt to tug at the heartstrings of all the cinephiles in the audience. It completely captures the magic of movies in every aspect possible, from the old, classic theater building, the audience's reactions to the films, the priest censoring the movies as they come in, the movie being played outside on the wall of a house... this is why people watch movies.

So besides being a movie about movies (and therefore driving all movie junkies nuts), what else does Cinema Paradiso have going for it? Well, it's funny. It's just endlessly, endlessly funny. I don't know of many other movies that can bill themselves legitimately as "You'll laugh, you'll cry" (besides 50/50), but Cinema Paradiso easily can. You wouldn't expect a foreign-language movie to elicit belly laughs from international audiences, but it really does. This movie is effortlessly charming from beginning to end, and if you don't laugh at least once, you are a cynical butthole who shouldn't be watching movies. By the way, Cutler, you said in your review that I wouldn't like this movie. Change that shit. It is God.

The final sequence is hopelessly manipulative, but if you've been fully sucked into it by then, you won't have a problem with it. I fully understand the complaint that the end of this movie is schlocky and overly sentimental-- it is-- but it has earned its nostalgia. It actually gets you attached to the characters before reeling you in, unlike Up, which started off with nostalgic crap and didn't bother defining the characters whatsoever. Cinema Paradiso saves the weakest part for last, for better or for worse, and even though it is immensely flawed, it still is one of the most powerful cinematic experiences of all time. Martin Scorsese, fuck you for ripping this off with Hugo, the worst movie ever made. If it were possible, I now have even less respect for that complete load of ass. Cinema Paradiso is Hugo done right, with characters we actually care about, who are portrayed by legitimately good actors, speaking good dialogue which serves a memorable and powerful story. What more could you possibly ask for?

Final Score for Cinema Paradiso: THE COVETED DIEGO TUTWEILLER 10/10 STARS!!! Again, don't take my word for it, I was swayed by the movie lover within me. I've always said that if you're too emotionally manipulated by a movie, you shouldn't expect people to take you seriously, and I stand by that. I wholeheartedly understand people who disliked this film for its pretentiousness, its sentimentality, or its overly romantic story. But it's good to know that those people (cough cough Cutler cough cough) make up only about 3% of the movie-watching population. Anyway, experience this movie as soon as you can. It's spectacular.

PS-- If this film had different RT pages for it and the director's cut (the way it is for dozens of other films such as Donnie Darko or Apocalypse Now), it would have 100%. Fact.