Review of CHiPs (2017) by Fernando D — 03 May 2017

"A puerile, tasteless and brain-dead reboot of the tacky but popular NBC cop drama which ran from 1977 to 1983.".

Movie Review: CHiPs.

Date Viewed: March 30 2017.

Directed By Dax Shepard (Hit and Run).

Written By Dax Shepard, Based on the television series created by Rick Rosner.

Starring: Dax Shepard, Michael Pena, Rosa Salazar, Vincent D'Onofrio, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Adam Brody, Jessica McNamee, Justin Chatwin, Kristen Bell, Jane Kaczmarek, Ryan Hansen, Richard T. Jones, Ben Falcone, Maya Rudolph, Adam Rodriguez, Josh Duhamel and Erik Estrada.

I can admire a TV adaptation for turning it's head around and make something fun and new out of it. "21 Jump Street" did it in 2012 and since it was hugely successful, "22 Jump Street" came around the block and made more money. As I wish for a "23 Jump Street" to come around the corner, we have "CHiPs" a puerile, tasteless and brain-dead reboot of the tacky but popular NBC cop drama which ran from 1977 to 1983. Since this movie is monstrously dumb and is filled with dick and gay panic jokes, you would think it would be funny. Not in this case.

"CHiPs" tries to be dumb, raunchy and funny like "21 Jump Street" but it's just as sexist and uniquely terrible as the 2005 film version of "The Dukes of Hazzard". "CHiPs" follows the formula of the show very well but that's like saying moldy bananas are more fun to eat than a thrown out McDonald's hamburger. Who's to blame for making this hyperactive and idiotic mess? Well, most of the blame goes to Dax Shepard who also wrote and directed it and also served as a co-producer.

If look at the list of big-time actors who dare to make the leap from movie star to director (Mel Gibson, Ben Affleck, Warren Beatty, Clint Eastwood, George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Denzel Washington, Kevin Costner, Tim Robbins, Joel Edgerton), these people know how to direct. On the flip side of the coin, Dax Shepard is not one of them. He made another terrible comedy five years ago called "Hit and Run" which starred him, Bradley Cooper, Tom Arnold and his wife, Kristen Bell who I'm surprised didn't file any divorce papers after that monstrosity. It seems insurmountably impossible for a comedian to direct a good movie but hey look at Jordan Peele, he made a horror-satire thriller that cost little to make and didn't look like much but "Get Out" turned out to be a scary movie masterpiece.

Shepard plays Jon Baker (the role that was previously portrayed by Larry Wilcox), a former extreme sports motorcycle dude who despite braking every bone in his body and having a total of 23 surgeries becomes a rookie for the California Highway Patrol and he's partnered up with Frank "Ponch" Poncherello (Michael Pena), who's actually an undercover FBI agent. Jon and Ponch must stop a team of dirty cops who are up to no good but on their first day on the job instead of being buddies and working together, they fight, bicker and scream at each other. Eventually they do become cop buddies and they must stop these crooked cops from doing any harm. These group of crooked officers are led by Ray Kurtz (Vincent D'Onofrio) and this team is pretty well organized. Kurtz' mercenaries also ride motorcycles pretty well but that's just an excuse for the movie's incoherent chases. Kurtz and his crooked team have stolen a batch of armored cars and along with $14 million and Kurtz plans to use the money to take his addict son, Ray Kurtz Jr. (Justin Chatwin) to rehab where he can recover.

That's not all, Jon uses his new patrol job to impress his estranged wife, Karen (Kristen Bell) who's a swim instructor and is now dating Josh Duhamel who makes a completely pointless cameo. As for Pooch, he's a straight-up ladies man but often at times, he can barely hold his libido for women wearing yoga pants. This movie really hates women because every woman here is either a shrew, a back-stabber or just oversexed. Shepard and Pena have no chemistry at all and Vincent D'Onofrio acts like he is in a serious cop thriller or another movie for that matter and he's not funny at all.

In addition to being a mediocre comic, Dax Shepard is also not a really good writer or director. Michael Pena has been great in other movies before but with "CHiPs" and more recently "Collateral Beauty" don't you think it's time to fire your agent. On another point, Pena appeared in another L.A.-set cop movie that was pretty good, it was called "End of Watch". David Ayer's film had more insight into L.A. cops and how they patrol the streets compared to "CHiPs". Isiah Whitlock Jr. gets the Frank McRae role as Ponch's FBI boss who chews down on his bad boy when he screws up big time, Adam Brody plays Ponch's former partner at the FBI who now hates him for shooting him in the arm and Jane Kaczmarek of "Malcolm in the Middle" fame plays the police captain.

We do of course get a cameo from Erik Estrada but even his presence in this feels like a sore thumb. With poor editing, badly executed comedic gags, not-so-good chemistry and lots of gay fear humor, "CHiPs" has no reason to exist other than to say the actual tagline on the poster, CHIP HAPPENS.