Review of Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972) by Brendan R — 23 Feb 2011

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things is a classic grindhouse zombie movie that epitomizes the best of bad movie making. The story follows a theater troupe that has, for some reason, agreed to follow their psychotic, power-mad director to a deserted graveyard island for some black magic hilarity. It's strange in a lot of ways, not least in the power dynamic of the characters, who put up with all manner of indignity from the director, who sports a robust Colonel Sanders mustache and goatee and wears white pants with multicolored vertical stripes. It's hard to tell whether we're seeing some remnants of 1970s culture, such as the moment when the young actress essentially agrees to sleep with the director, her boyfriend's protests aside, because he demanded it as part of her employment. Then there's a crazy lady, a sarcastic lady, and a couple of meatheads to add to the mix.

Here's a breakdown of what puts the movie in the sweet spot between "bad" and bad:

Acting: Bad - the amateur actors are either young, ham-handed, or both. The director's flamboyant air oscillates back and forth between mincing and menacing, though occasionally he hits both tones at the same time.

Good - The scene chewing by all the actors gives the movie a heightened feel that really makes it work.

Art Direction and Scenery: Bad - the found nature of much of the scenery, and the hilarious means by which the characters defend themselves from the dead, mark this film as particularly silly.

Good - the graveyard scenes are really creepy once you get past the cardboard look of the gravestones.

Meditative Camera Work: Bad - the camera is really lifeless in the film, often adding nothing to the scene, and showing the most barebones views of things. Many shots are far longer than they need to be.

Good - the long shots actually build suspense in ways the poor actors and script are unable to do. Particularly effective is the scene when the group is waiting to see if the summoning of Satan worked.

Writing: Bad - The writing in this film is bad, stilted and uninspiring. Good - Nope. The only thing to say good about the writing is that it doesn't get in the way of the zombies.

SFX: Bad - The zombies and horror elements in the film are certainly silly, with a lot of buildup and not much to the horror aspect of the movie. They really embody the grindhouse feel.

Good - The walking dead in this film are striking, a strong mix of types that show a facility for makeup effects and a large supply of fake blood.

Overall, if you like grindhouse movies or bad zombie movies, you can't do much worse/better than Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things.