Review of Children of the Corn (1984) by Tim B — 07 Feb 2010

I'll always remember when I purchased this movie at the age of 11. It was between this and "The Twon that Dreaded Sundown," neither of which I hadn't seen. I took it home, watched it, got a little freaked and put it away.

Years later when I took the time to watch it again, I started to regret my choice fast and when it was over, I immediately got rid of it. Now it did have its moments of potential. A couple of eerie imageries did suffice (kids chasing adults, cornfield scene in the beginning) but it really wasn't worth it in the long run.

It starts off with a lame narration by a kid that wasn't really necessary. It went further by giving us a dream sequence that went on too long and was worthless (since it was a dream). But it had to be the 'evil' children that takes the title for the worst aspect.

The fucking dialogue some of these kids spit out is atrocious and belongs more in a movie like 'The Ten Commandments.' It never stops. The one 'real' death scene went on to me wanting to take a nap with a character that talks to himself and isn't surprised by drastic weather changes.

The lead hero does the stupidest moves I've ever seen (like leaving his wife on numerous occasions when clearly there's danger lurking) and an ending that was over-the-top with bad effects and a fight scene that consisted of face slaps (wtf?).

Fritz Kiersh does give the odd artsy touch with a lot of close-ups and neat side views, but he has no handle on pacing, especially during the more suspenseful scenes. Peter Horton gives a pretty impressive performace, it's just whom he played that I didn't care for.

Linda Hamilton does a good job here. Both Horton and Hamilton play off eachother well. Robby Kiger does okay, but can't act impressed by anything. Anne Marie McEvoy also handles herself well and is a little cutie.

John Franklin has the worst dialogue of the bunch and it doesn't help that his voice was extremely annoying. Courtney Gains could've been a lot creepier if he didn't have to talk. He handles his action well, though.

The synopsis at least SOUNDS promising. The movie just didn't piece the story together well and the pacing was way off for me, so the movie just came across as 'corny' (I had to do it at least once).

This is proof that not EVERYTHING of King's needs to be put on the big screen.