Review of Chernobyl Diaries (2012) by Tyler R — 01 Jun 2013

Perhaps you've seen Cabin in the Woods. If so, allow me to introduce a film that is almost tailor made for a compare & ridicule. Chernobyl Diaries follows a group of young twenty-somethings as they take an extreme tour through Chernobyl.

Lifeless, scareless, brainless, joyless. These are the words that come to mind when describing the film. Whatever dialogue was there at the beginning of the short run time completely disappeared by the second half and is reduced to the scarce half sentence and plentiful screams.

Their is some type of brother/brother story about disappointment and some type of story of two people in love, with the man getting ready to propose. Both of these are horrifyingly dumb plot devices that do nothing more than wish they were dead anyway.

The direction is more scary than the film. The camera shakes and moves around so much, one starts to think the director is shivering severely from the cold weather. Then there's the visual effects.

What little effects the film does have end up being sub-par. Now, why did I give this one star? The bear. The star is solely for the bear. Don't ask me why, it just is. This film is dull, pointless, and every bad adjective listed at the beginning.

Just avoid.