Review of Centurion (2010) by Daniel A — 29 Dec 2010

Failing to bring anything new to the swords-and-sandals genre, Centurion delivers poor storytelling, questionable acting, and unceasing, unintelligent slasher action.

With an actor as talented as Michael Fassbender at its helm, I had hoped Centurion would be spared its B-movie fate, unfortunately even he was not enough to rescue this from being a dull ride lacking in thrills, but overwhelmed with uninteresting characters and a distinct lack of plot.

Granted its not often that you see an Ancient Rome-based movie where the Romans are the weaker side, but it really didn't matter as there are few reasons to get excited about either side depicted here. This is because the characters are so underdeveloped and boring that I didn't give two hoots about any of them. The dialogue they spew is completely inane meaning you'll be thankful it's so sparse, while the never-ending action is just a montage of swipes and chops followed by copious amounts of projectile blood. To put it (very) crudely the action here is a bit like a porno that's just endless ejaculations without the sex before it, hence the appeal of seeing that final climax of steel-on-flesh during the fight scenes (not the porn) is lost when it's presented over and over without any actual steel-on-steel fighting before it. This technique is employed throughout the movie and makes for some incredibly monotonous sequences in which the violence begins to look increasingly gratuitous and just plain stupid.

Furthermore the acting is seriously disappointing. While Fassbender is passable (and I do consider myself a fan of this actor who has the ability to seriously move the viewer through his performances, for example in Hunger) the rest of the cast is surprisingly poor. Olga Kurylenko is utterly wasted playing a mute, and hence has no dialogue for the film's entirety, while the scores of sideline characters (some played by promising young actors like Riz Ahmed and Noel Clarke) are completely unremarkable, largely thanks to the terrible writing which gives them little back story and no room to develop any.

Thus Centurion is a disappointing ride. While it's not completely unwatchable, I can't say that I would ever recommend it, and therefore I think it best forgotten with the countless other disappointments that have graced cinemas during 2010.