Review of Cemetery Man (1994) by Travis S — 22 Feb 2009

I think I've come to the conclusion that I don't like Italian horror, as none of the movies I've seen in the genre have ever really grabbed my interest. And "Cemetery Man" seems more like equal parts soap opera and softcore porn, with a few zombies thrown in, than a horror film. And while that might sound like good fodder for a horror spoof, the overall running time is so boring that what cheese there is (the flying severed head, the lecture/argument with one of the zombies, etc.) is vastly overshadowed by how tedious and unremittingly vapid the rest of the movie is.

Hints toward an actual plot involving the protagonist's pent-up jealousy and the numerous times he's been spurned by women do start to form eventually. Unfortunately however, no real progress in this direction is even begun until around 20 minutes before the film ends. The rest of it is too dull to be interesting, and too stupid to be laughable. Don't be fooled, "Cemetery Man" is nowhere near as good as the hype makes it out to be.