Review of CBGB (2013) by Rocktopusprime — 04 Oct 2013

Obviously a love letter, but a haphazard, disjointed one at best. Scene after scene and character after character seemed to be included only because they must have been somehow important, but why they were important is never really explained. It seems more like an anthology of re-enactments of 2nd hand stories, cleaned up and recycled into an TV after-school special (and probably had the same budget, judging by the cheap Halloween wigs that prove to be incredibly distracting in their awfulness). This is especially notable in a scene where, apropos of nothing, the guy from The Big Bang Theory offers a blowie to a guy we're supposed to believe is Iggy Pop...for some reason. I assume it was supposed to be some of the comedy we were promised, but, forced in as it was, it was just confusing.

There are, inexplicably, two different opening scenes. Both are by-the-book cliches, and neither adds a single thing to the plot, showing us a baby Hilly Kristal running to the neighbors for some reason, and the ham-handed condensed version of the founding of Punk magazine, the inclusion of which exists solely to introduce some sort of narrator who spells out the "message" of the movie in talking points that sound like a book report shoehorned into unnatural dialogue.

As likable as Alan Rickman is as Hilly, it's worth noting that he is the only real villain in the story as well. What little conflict and plot happens on screen centers around him being his own worst enemy- turning down advice and help at every turn, again, without offering an explanation or providing any context whatsoever for why he makes such bad decisions. There's no insight into who Hilly was as a person, just someone going through the motions like they're following a list.

It's hard to tell who the audience for this film is. If you're not already familiar with the story, you won't come out really knowing anything of value about this pivotal point in music history. All you'll know is that some guy who was bad at business had a club the Ramones played at, and apparently that's important. If you're already a fan, you'll find the story lacking detail and richness, and the dumbed down spoon-feeding of punk history off-putting and exceedingly mild. The way the rock icons are portrayed is cartoonish, feeling more like an excuse for a costume party than any serious attempt at portraying reality.

And don't even get me started on the obvious continuity errors sprinkled liberally throughout. The whole thing was like amateur hour, except that it felt more like 4 or 5 hours.