Review of Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010) by Archit K — 16 May 2011

What could have been a 30 minute documentary on a rather interesting archaeological find, was somehow turned into an hour and a half film filled with absurd, if not downright irrelevant, moments, punctuated by ham-fisted philosophical remarks about what it means to be human.

Allow me to elaborate: When I say irrelevant, I'm referring to moments in the documentary such as one where they discuss the background of a former circus-entertainer turned archaeologist, or the master-perfumer bit -- a french man trying to capture the scent of caves.

Last but not least, the post-script piece about mutant-albino-crocodiles, was probably the most out of left field. Apparently, these monstrosities are the result of radioactive waste from a nearby nuclear plant, that has contaminated a greenhouse which is home to over a hundred crocodiles.

..I'm serious, that's all they tell us. Perhaps an attempt at injecting us with a dose of guilt, not only for sitting through the entirety of that crap, but also for humanity's nuclear-waste laced sins.

So, there we have mutant-albino-crocodiles, and old man Herzog contemplating what they, the mutant crocodiles, might think of the Chauvet Cave, if they ever happened upon it. At that point, I have to admit, I truly felt a strong emotion take over me, and overwhelmingly compelled by this surge of emotions, I stood up, exhaled deeply as a single tear-drop rolled down my cheek, and raised my fists to the movie gods, shouting: "What the fuck am I watching?!!".