Review of Catwoman (2004) by Calum B — 22 Mar 2011

Here's one that reeks of the worst kitty litter ever. It's a $90 million disaster. You can't blame Halle Berry for being attracted to the role of the iconic Catwoman, and be the first woman of color to lead a superhero movie.

She is the first black actress to win a Best Actress Oscar after all. Catwoman aims to be a story of female empowerment, but it's declawed. Berry is Patience Phillips, a shy graphic artist working for a cosmetics company run by dictatorial George Hedare (Lambert Wilson) and his cougar wife, Laurel (Sharon Stone).

But Patience gets a whole new lease on life thanks to an Egyptian cat, inspiring her to become a crimefighter and wear an S&M leather outfit that even Madonna would send back. Director Pitof (yes, that's his name) just uses flashy editing that sucks all the life out of coherency.

Stone camps it up and gets all the best lines, telling her husband 'stop dating children who were born the same year the cell phone was invented.' The rest is a turd wrapped in a bow.