Review of Catfight (2017) by Glenn G — 19 Mar 2017

HISS! BOO! POW! - My Review of CATFIGHT (2 Stars).

Ugh!!! Talk about a basket of deplorables. Writer/director Onur Tukel has vomited out this artless, endless (even at 96 minutes), terrible film with the intent of teaching us that violence is not only bad, it's unavoidable and that women can land a punch just as bone-crushing as any man's. Progress!! There's a glimmer of a good premise here, and its stars give it their all, but let's face it, this film exists for the sole purpose of watching women beating the shit out of each other. If not, why are there 3-count-em-3 bone-crunching set pieces?

Sandra Oh plays Veronica, the wife of a successful profiteer of the Military Industrial Complex. At one of their swank New York parties, she chats up one of the cater-waiters only to discover she's an old college classmate and rival, Ashley (Anne Heche). They've taken wildly divergent paths, with Oh drinking a lot of wine and being a terrible parent and Heche struggling as a renegade artist and planning to have a child with her girlfriend (an adorably delightful and well-realized performance by Alicia Silverstone). More Alicia Silverstone in movies, please!

Oh can't help but point out their class differences. Old wounds get sliced open quickly and before you know it, they're in a stairwell pummeling each other within an inch of their lives. Tukel has chosen to augment the fights with ridiculously loud sound effects just so you won't miss the point that WOMEN ARE STRONG! I won't spoil what happens next, but needless to say, it's not the last time these women will duke it out.

Structured on 3 distinctive, complimentary acts, I admired Tukel's idea of symmetry and grasp of primal pain. Oh and Heche dive into this film, and each have their moments where you fully understand the hurt they feel. Tukel clearly admires the films of Sam Peckinpah with their full throttle approach to violence. Oh and Heche grunt, moan, and growl with unchecked ferocity, but to what end? Through and through, they're pretty terrible characters who clearly get a chance to show some levels of humanity, but there's so little to this slog, that I ultimately didn't care.

Despite this, performances are very good across the board, with a special mention going to helium-voiced Ariel Kavoussi as Heche's long-suffering assistant who has a wonderful way of telling the truth. Amy Hill also excels as Oh's crazy, tree-hugging aunt. She plays the role relatively straight instead of the cartoon it could have been. Myra Lucretia Taylor also won me over as Oh's pragmatic housekeeper. I could have done entirely without Craig Bier's appearance as a host of a political commentary show that's really all about farting. It doesn't help that this on-the-nose satire looks green-screen phony.

In the behind-the-scenes featurette , cinematographer Zoe White recounts how Tukel isn't a fan of pretty images and likes to shoot fast. She says she still wanted to keep things cinematic, but what we get instead is one ugly, cheap-looking film. Sure, its themes and look all support the point Tukel's trying to make, but that doesn't make it a fun experience. I don't usually mind nihilistic films, but CATFIGHT is that oddity - a women's empowerment film about women who can't control or harness their power. It ends up being an ugly, gross time at the movies.