Review of Captain Apache (1971) by Brian R — 02 Apr 2012

"It is the spirit that dances, not the man" - Indian proverb (apparently).

What a film! It's nigh-on incomprehensible in terms of plot (still the case after many viewings down the years) but then plot is only a small part of the best spaghetti westerns and I rate this among the very best. There is just so much to enjoy, i.e.the full-bodied acting of the entire company, from Lee as Captain Apache posing in his loincloth atop a rock (much holding in of the stomach) whilst addressing one of his Native American brethren, to the blonde English twins who challenge him to a drinking contest, everyone gives of their best. Stuart Whitman is "as cool as", and Carroll Baker is fab as the self-professed symbol of chasteness and purity who can't keep her knickers on. The cinematography is brilliant - check out the scene where Cappy Appy is hallucinating his nuts off after being forced to drink a conconction brewed by the town's resident witch(!?) which bizarrely mutates into the good Captain chasing two heavies up and down what looks like the stairwell in a multi-storey car park. But best of all - oh happy day - is Lee Van Cleef's rendering of the film's two songs. The theme tune "Captain Apache", he decides to speak while leaving the boys in the chorus to carry the tune and do the singing in a Paint Your Wagon stylee. It's one of the best movie themes ever. No, really! The closing number "April Morning" he takes on himself and gives such an emotively tuneless performance that it's enough to bring a tear to a glass eye. This film has its knockers (Carroll Baker again) but it's an example of a genre in which panache goes an exceedingly long way. It's not the story, it's the way you tell it. This film has panache by the bucketload! :-).