Review of Captain America: Civil War (2016) by Todd M — 14 Jul 2018

I mean...I mostly am poor, very poor, so only attend to the cinema as a treat to my elderly mother for our interest in the new Star Wars and Indy Jones things.

So...I mean forget all other stuff, even as in cinema, so only viewing it on a TV like 99.9% of humans. If so bad CGI, washed out colors, and I'd rather watch those sloths with algae, since that was in HD. I've never played Minecraft but I did play Populous decades ago and the thing is maybe similar.

And anyway, the plot seems to be 80% action scenes with no plot, 10% scenes with no plot introducing Antman and Spiderman, 1% that shit actor from Children of a Lesser God said something, 2% Frank Grillo dying for some reason, 7% of why fighting. Why oh---a lot of % introducing black panther and why he is beating the shit out of other heroes. Which would be awesome if...

I mean why not just instead do "Contest of Champions". No need to spend 40 minutes on random character and actor (sorry, sorry) "Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes/Actor's Name" which no one gives a shit about.

My review is that I saw it once and that's enough according to the meta-narrative of movies. Nothing in it is good-acting, good-writing enough to see again. And the visuals are just utterly ridiculous.

"Bland washed out and nonsensically plotted movie you've seen before" vs. say, "HD for REALS the Planet Earth or Planet Squid" why would anyone choose the former?

Keeping up with various new Marvel Cinematic Movies that I haven't seen in theaters is kind of a burden since they're so ugly and nonsensical as compared to my normal views of TV. 1 star. Since 0 star isn't an option. durr durr durr.