Review of C Me Dance (2009) by Josh G — 14 Jan 2010

C Me Dance is one of the best Christian films that I have seen for some time. It successfully combines ridiculous religious beliefs with terrible acting and hilarious events happening on-screen to make a dark comedy of biblical proportions!

Sorry.

But let's be serious. Here's a great quote from the L.A. Weekly review: "Its hilarious ineptitude makes it border on becoming a cult classic for the ages... and weâ??re not talking religious cult.".

Indeed, the movie has a seemingly endless supply of weird and unbelievable plot points up its sleeve, sure to keep your jaw hanging open in disbelief. Our hero Sheri is a 17-year old girl who has been dancing her entire life, taking ballet classes as a child and entering dance competitions in her teenage years. If only her mother, who died in the movie Duel, had been around to see her beautiful transformation over the years. And then, adding insult to injury, Sheri passes out during dance practice and is diagnosed with leukemia. Leukemia doesn't get a good girl down, and she dedicates her life to dancing. But God has other plans for her!

Of course, all of this melodramatic stuff is played poorly with actors who say each line as if they are reading lines from a script. Every word is false, every movement of their hands carefully chosen before filming began. The obviousness of this is embarassing and extremely entertaining. Sheri's leukemia doesn't hinder her in the least, possibly because God wants her to save her agnostic friend who has never gotten to know Jesus. Sheri argues about the existence of God, struggling to counter well-thought out arguments from her agnostic friend, such as: "Why do you care? Nobody else cares about me." As it turns out, agnosticism is merely a result of not enough love from parents. Regardless, Sheri's words have little effect. It's when she lays her hand on the girl that suddenly everything changes. Hallelujah, praise be to Jesus the God Man Baby Child, her friend has become a Christian.

Sheri still doesn't realize the gift that she has been entrusted with until she turns a boy to Christ who was about to murder her... in broad daylight, in somebody's front lawn. Her father, meanwhile, has a psychic connection to his daughter that is never explained. When the two of them realize Sheri's super-power, it is divulged in a weird attempt at comedy that doesn't work. In fact, all of the weird attempts at comedy throughout the film do not work and turn out to be funnier for how awkward and unrealistic they are than for the actual, supposed punchline.

As Sheri can save anybody by touching them and/or looking into their eyes, her ministry grows. They get the help of a black preacher (for diversity) who is eager to help them out. "Every day," he tells them, "God's creation is going to Hell, and it's starting to piss me off!" He creates an elaborate plan to get Sheri up on stage at a metal concert (where all the atheists and pagans will be) in order to tell them about God's love and convert them all to Christianity. All they have to do is tell the concert promoters that she needs to be on stage in order to talk about, um, something. We'll... we'll figure that part out later.

The snowball keeps rolling and getting bigger and bigger. Their plan gets more absurd, the ease with which they accomplish their goals more unbelievable. And then the ending, which ties the dancing thing back into the plot since it got lost in the sea of salvation.

There is so much more to say. I did a bad job of explaining it. Just trust me here, this is one of the funniest Christian movies I've seen in some time. And I'm a self-confessed bad Christian movie aficionado.