Review of Burnt (2015) by Mo-Jai M — 14 Nov 2015

Here lies another fatally bland kitchen-based drama, with the equally uninspired title Burnt setting the tone for this by-the-numbers first world crisis pic (perhaps previous beige title 'Adam Jones' would've been even more apt). Okay, this isn't a complete disaster: Cooper brings a reliable intensity to the role and it zips along fairly quickly, making it fairly watchable. Perhaps my biggest issue lies with the risibly outdated screenplay, full of exasperatingly bad lines (this is demonstrated from the film's opening musing) and an inability to sell the first-world problems depicted on the screen as anything other than light entertainment.

On your behalf I've ranked the most ridiculous, exposition-filled parcels of dialogue from the film:

1. "Then I say to myself, Simone, you're a lesbian, why did I sleep with you!?" (This one belongs in 'The Room').

2. "When we were both sous-chefs at Jean-Luc's".

3. "What...you make me breakfast instead of falling in love with me?".

Seriously there are too many to pick. 80% of this film is people explaining what has happened to each other, even though they've lived those experiences. So very bizarre. So very lazy.

Not only is the dialogue clunky, there is just a complete lack of gravity here, no real threat. Of course, that's not the only problem on display; the characters, for example, are one-dimensional in construction, and verge worryingly close to being offensive stereotypes (see: gay Maître'd) and the infuriating dependence on montage to advance the plot quickly grows tiresome. This is an amateur film, made with such disdain for any creativity or bold ideas, perhaps more than ironic, given its content. This irony extends to the film constantly reminding us that Jones is outdated and his ideas are stale - if only this criticism was levied at those behind this film.

If you want to pass a couple of hours drooling over some artistic shots of food in a highly glossy kitchen (or you just really love seeing producers try to shoehorn in some Burger King product placement into the film in the most awkward way possible), however, this is just about competent enough.