Review of Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) by Kamamura — 22 Jun 2019

It's a parody, right? Please, tell me it's a parody. The overblown, cheap effects, the high school theatrics, the absolute disrespect for the original material, that all cannot be meant seriously. The experience resembles a ride through a cheap House of Horrors on your local carnival - and in the worst way imaginable. Cables and wires everywhere, and badly recorded maniacal laughter replayed from a cheap speaker. Bwahahahahahaaaaa! Throw in some Lovecraftian spooks that probably got lost while filming another piece and wandered onto the set, and you are ready to go (that tentacled cab driver, WTF?).

One thing it's certainly not. It's not scary. Not one bit. At least you could have had the decency to leave Bram Stoker's name from it. He certainly did not write this garbage.