Review of Bloodsport (1988) by Glenn L — 26 Aug 2009

I wish I had more to say about Bloodsport than I do.

But there's really not a lot to it. A man named Frank Dux (pronounced dooks) is ditching the US Army to travel to Hong Kong in order to take part in a brutal martial arts competition known as the Kumite. People have died at the Kumite, and the white square of padding where the combatants square off is fairly drenched with blood before the battle ends. One man leans down and whispers in Dux's ear, "That's why they call it bloodsport.".

So now we understand the title. Before heading to Hong Kong, Dux (Van Damme) stops by his martial arts teacher's house for one last goodbye. He has a long flashback, remembering how he as a child got caught sneaking into this house to steal a katana and how the head of the household agreed to train him and how his teacher's son died mysteriously and how he had to promise to be the best that he could be in order to win the Kumite. The scene keeps cutting back to Van Damme staring at the sword intently. Speaking of: wow, Van Damme is a pretty bad actor. So many scenes feel so awkward and stilted, and the flashback scenes with the children are really poorly scripted. When a kid gets beat up, he stands up and , "I'm going to make my father proud one day.".

And so. Dux goes to Hong Kong and meets a hirsute man who looks as though he is ready to destroy anybody that gets near him. Of course, the two men become fast friends and by the end of the movie (SPOILER!) are kissing and speaking about how much they love one another. There is also a woman reporter who wants to get into the exclusive Kumite party, but will settle for having sex with Dux instead. Oh, and then there are inept FBI Agents (one of whom is played by Forrest Whittaker) that don't really do anything in the story, except indulge in a comical chase sequence with Van Damme where he stops and looks back laughing at them several times.

Other than that, it's just scenes of people fighting. People kicking and jumping around and punching and swinging and bleeding. And more of that, and more of that. And Frank Dux, who is apparently a real person, punching through stacks of bricks and being drawn-and-quartered for the sake of his martial arts. Er, sorry, martial science. If you aren't totally into different combinations of people squaring off against one another in choreographed fight sequences, a lot of the movie can be tiring.

That's about all there is to say. As with a lot of these well-known yet cheesy '80s films, I suspect that I would have a lot more fondness for the film if I had grown up watching it. But I didn't and I don't. It was okay, but not really my thing.