Review of Blood Sucking Freaks (1976) by Steve H — 23 Sep 2009

1976's "Bloodsucking Freaks" is an acquired taste. Your either gonna be so sickened you puke on yourself, or your gonna be laughing your ass off for 90 minutes. Regardless, it's certainly one of the sicker, more fucked up films out there.

Directed by Joel M. Reed, the film originally was titled "The Incredible Torture Show". Running low on finances, they pulled in some more money from a struggling Troma Studios (known then only for tits & ass comedies along the lines of "Porky's" and the such). With the film in the can, it was retitled and eventually released by Troma after they switched gears to distributing fucked up horror/comedies like said film.

Seamus O' Brien plays Master Sardu, who runs an underground torture show in NYC (I guess those were all the rage in the 70's or something). Turns out though that he's actually legit torturing and killing the women on stage, unknown to the audience who thinks it's all a show as they laugh and clap along. Sardu sets his eyes on an aspiring ballerina and decides he wants her to be part of the show. So he kidnaps her and starts her on a training regime to make her stage debut, meanwhile a detective attempts to track down the missing woman.

It's dirty, gruesome stuff. Lots of women getting their hands chopped off, titties electricuted, brains sucked out through straws by insane dentists, all the usual stuff you expect from a film called "Bloodsucking Freaks".

Joining Sardu is Luis De Jesus as his assistant Ralphus, a real life midget porn star who seems to be having way too much fun while all the blood and guts spill and he's munching on bitches eyeballs. In a strange twist, we're given a break now and then from the extreme violence to spend some time with the twisted buddy relationship between the two. The eat dinner off women's backs, enjoy cigars and wine, and look deeply into each other's eyes before Jesus has some imprisoned women slaves rip off Sardu's clothes while he laughs hysterically. It cuts away moments later, but I guess we're supposed to be under impression Sardu and Ralphus are more then "just friends".

Also joining the fray is an army of naked women locked up in Sardu's basement with some of the hairiest pussies you've ever seen. They take center stage by the film's end as they break free, tear some people up, then proceed to eat a sandwich containing something every guy fears losing...let alone turned into dinner by 30 naked, hairy bushed women.

It's low budget, and most of the bloody effects are actually quite laughable with really only a few effects seeming realistic enough to cause you to become squeamish. Sardu & Ralphus's odd relationship provides laughs that may or may not be intentional.

On the other hand, it's nothing new. 70's horror was something you certainly don't see today with all the PG-13 horror flicks coming out. They were gory as fuck and contained everything from rape to cannibalism. Some of the more famous films of the era included "I Spit On Your Grave" (making "Last House on the Left" seem like a kid's movie) and "Cannibal Holocaust" (making Blair Witch seem like it was made by retards).

It's Troma, if you know what that means, you know what to expect. Although keep in mind it's only on of the many films they distribute, and not on the same level as their in-house produced films like "The Toxic Avenger" and "Tromeo & Juliet", films that are more comedy...but with tons of gore. If your into 70's horror, definatly check it out, otherwise ya might wanna skip it as the gore is more then likely gonna cause the average filmgoer to lose their lunch...not to mention never look at a hot dog the same way again.