Review of Blood for Dracula (1974) by Cindy I — 09 Sep 2009

More fun from the gang that brought you Flesh for Frankenstein. This time Dracula (our pal Udo Kier), is a little particular about his meals -- he can only have the blood of female (I guess, I didn't see him attacking any young boys) "wirgins". If he drinks the blood of an experienced woman, he vomits up the blood (all charmingly detailed in Technicolor) and goes into wild convulsions and spasms. All this gets demonstrated when he travels to Italy to the home of a wealthy man (Vittorio de Sica -- how did they talk HIM into this?!) and his four daughters. Dracula tells the man that he is looking for a wife and heard his daughters were all beautiful and devout Catholics, which would prove that they were pure. Uh, not quite. See, there's this gardener (Joe Dallesandro) who's doing his best to give all the daughters a ride on his ho handle. Dracula tries to make a little time with the daughters too, but keeps getting sick because they keep lying about being pure and he keeps believing them (Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice...) What to do, what to do? I won't give anymore away. Let's just say that the film ends on a rather downer note for all involved.

As usual, the effects are laughable, the acting and script atrocious. There are so many accents heard that it sounds like the United Nations. We can count on Big Joe though, with his New Yawk accent to make this movie more bizarre than it already is. More (boring) sex scenes and fewer disembowelments in this than Frankenstein, but no less ridiculous. Deserves only 1 star at best, but it's one of those "so bad it's good" films, which adds more stars for entertainment bang for the buck.