Review of Blair Witch (2016) by Joshua S — 02 Oct 2016

People most often remember The Blair Witch Project for popularizing the "found footage" horror genre, the incredibly effective and downright fraudulent viral marketing campaign, and for being OH MY GAWWD SO BORING. And that's a shame because Blair Witch Project was a triumph of low budget, gonzo, independent guerilla filmmaking at its finest. The actors were terrorized and placed in the elements to suffer and the film had an uncomfortably realistic quality to it. Pretentious to be sure, but it was subtle and still vastly superior to what ACTUALLY got found footage movies going - Paranormal Activity aka The Nadir of the Artform. But what is important to note is that audiences fucking hated this movie. (Yeah how about that?) And they hated its odd and truly terrible sequel Book of Shadows even more. So any attempt to make another entry in what is a BEYOND dead franchise is a questionable venture at best.

So here we are with a direct sequel practically two decades later, helmed by Adam Wingard, an overlooked director responsible for indy gems You're Next and The Guest. Blair Witch recycles the plot of the first film as another group of documentarian 20-somethings head into the forests of rural Maryland and find themselves at the mercy of the supernatural. Gone is the subtlety and atmosphere of the original. In its place are jump scares and overproduced effects that are intended to be EXTREME, but are merely off-putting. The final act does feature one of the better produced haunted houses in recent cinema and an incredibly uncomfortable scene that will engage the claustrophobia that you didn't realize you had. The characters are unlikable and forgettable, with the exception of our two main leads whose tender and romantic moments provide the only humanity this movie has. And after it was all said and done, I ask you this question. What was the fucking point of any of this? No one saw this movie. No one liked it. Demographic data and common sense would have revealed that no one was looking forward to it fucking years ago. I've seen far worse movies, but never one with less reason to exist than Blair Witch. Skip it and watch The Witch instead.