Review of Blair Witch (2016) by Nathan R — 23 Sep 2016

What I liked:

- The expansion of the Blair Witch mythos, and further explanation of her abilities and powers.

- The idea of time (nighttime and daytime) being manipulated.

- One moment later on toward the end of the movie, involving the house.

What I didn't like:

- Everything else.

It's got your typical jump scares. It's got your typical shaky cam nonsense. It's got the "glitchy camera" flickers that the editing team put in because they knew the camera quality was too good to be believable without it (and this is something that every freaking found footage horror film does. Paranormal Activity is one of these ilk). It's got idiot college kids going "DID U HEAR DAT?" after a VERY loud sound erupts all across the forest that anyone within twenty miles could have heard (No, I didn't hear that at all. That's why I jumped, gasped, and covered my face). It's got the screaming of names over and over and over. It's got the half-hearted semi-romantic subplot of one idiot and another idiot. It's got the crappy acting. It's even got the disapproving, aggressive black man that dies first.

Not only did this capitalize off of a much more clever movie, it actually FAILED to be anything like what made the first film so original. Nothing in the movie was subtle. It was just like many more typical horror films that came before it. Nothing new. Nothing substantial. Just looking to squeeze money out of you because it has "Blair Witch" in the title, and nothing more.

General consensus was that it bored me. I was more interested in the fact that for some reason, everyone in the theater sat around and didn't get up after the credits started rolling. Partner and I had a joke that they all couldn't believe that was end of the movie, so they lingered hoping there'd be more to it. No, that was the end. Sorry, folks.

There were good moments. But not enough to sustain the film.