Review of Blade (1998) by Patrick M — 27 Jul 2013

I don't like when movies make me suffer while watching them, specially when:

- every single line of dialogue makes me feel like vomiting.

- the main character is the biggest douche in the history of cinema.

- unnecessary twists come up just to make the story feel worse then it already is.

- the soundtrack sounds like one from a lame video game.

- every actor seems to put as little effort as they can.

- fight scenes seem like the actors are emulating Michael Jackson.

I feel sorry for the friend I invited to see this with me because I saw it on Quentin Tarantino's list of favorite movies from 1992 to 2009, only to then find out it wasn't this "Blade" he was talking about, he was talking about another movie called "The Blade" from 1995. I don't expect him to forgive me, nor let me choose another movie to watch ever again after this.

After watching "The Wolverine" I wanted to see what an R-Rated Marvel movie would be like (apart from "The Punisher", which is a guilty pleasure of mine) and I thought this would be a great idea, I was wrong and if you haven't seen it I can only ask you to please stay away from it.

I'd probably give it a .5/5 if it wasn't for a scene where a little asian girl the bad guy, played by Stephen Dorff, is holding as a hostage gets thrown away into what seems to be a hot dog stand and from there to the steet, it was one of those Robert Rodriguez ridiculously funny moments and just because of it I'm giving the movie half of a star.

I recommend you stay away from this...please don't watch it.