Review of Black Dahlia (2006) by Hugh J — 09 Feb 2009

Despite the awesome cast, the good director and the brilliant screenwriter, I just could not get into this flick. It was just so damn uninteresting to me. Then, when it did manage to capture my attention for a brief moment, I didn't understand what the hell was going on and I didn't really care either.

There's some shit with a boxing match and a proposed bill that eats up the first twenty minutes, then there's the introduction of Elizabeth Short's murder and for some fucking reason, Aaron Eckhart's got a hard on for her case, then after 50 minutes of unmemorable shit and Josh Hartnett watching Mia Kirshner look damn sexy, Eckhart dies and Hartnett bangs Scarlett Johansson, then he finds money and bangs Hilary Swank and then Swank's mother kills herself and it turns out Swank killed Eckhart and I can't for the life of me give two shits about anything that happened.

Mike Starr was wasted. Rose McGowan was wasted. Mia Kirshner fucking rocked it in her small role but was pretty much wasted. Scarlett Johansson was kind of annoying, Hilary Swank freaked me out, Eckhart is inexplicably angry for the majority of the flick and Hartnett overplays his gumshoe narration.

I don't know if it just wasn't my type of flick or if it really was that fucking terrible but I didn't like it. Shame considering the talent involved.