Review of Black Christmas (2019) by Davrosdaleks1 — 14 Dec 2019

Wow, this, the second attempt at a Black Christmas remake, is a misguidedly bad film.

This movie carries a heavy pro-women, anti-misogyny/patriarchal-control-of-the-system (particularly in the college environment) vibe to the whole thing. Let me make it clear that I support the message, it's the way it's executed that I have a problem with. You ever went to an original college play because of a class or to support a friend, and it feels like it's trying to be deep about something, but you can't stand it? This is that movie in a nutshell. (In the director/co-screenwriter and other co-screenwriter's defense, this film had a pretty short production schedule. Not saying the movie would've been better necessarily, just saying.).

The movie beats you over the head with the message. Plot and dialogue comes in second, less than second. The characters are extremely frustrating as they act and talk in a way that isn't plausible at all. A lot of them aren't people, just talking points. There are a lot of one-dimensional misogynists in this film who say nothing but the most obvious and basic chauvinistic lines. It gets really painful. Also, the killer's or killers' plan has so many loopholes.

I know that horror movies often require a suspension of disbelief but even this sinks way below an accordingly low bar.

You can see where the plot is going pretty early on, which makes waiting through the slow-paced first two thirds of the film a pain.

In the brief moments where people aren't speaking for or against the equality of women, there are a few lines that could've been funny, but none of the cast makes the dialogue work, especially Brittany Grady, who is supposed to be comic relief. Veteran actor Cary Elwes is in this and even he gives a terrible performance.

As for the actual horror in this, there are a few good weapon ideas but there isn't enough to salvage the film. The movie was originally R-rated but got cut down to PG-13 which hurt it. I'm not one of those "R-rated horror movies only" guys, but the problem is that the editor clearly just ended a couple kills abruptly. There was no attempt to reshoot or reedit scenes to make them run smoothly. If you like horror but not rape in your horror be forewarned that this movie will get uncomfortable.

To the movie's credit, the cinematography is good. There are a few post-kill shots that are effective. The one major thing this movie has in common with the original is that it goes with this stark reality look to it. There is an effectively cold feel to the whole thing. The campus and surrounding houses look like a real college environment.

I'd say this is about as bad as the last Black Christmas remake just in a different way. You want to see a Christmas-themed horror film? I suggest the original or Krampus.