Review of Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk (2016) by Spangle — 16 Feb 2017

Fashioned as an Awards favorite entering 2016, Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk promised innovative technology in the form of 120fps and 4k, while being helmed by Ang Lee. Coming off of Life of Pi, one had to assume that this film would be Lee's triumphant war film to add to his resume. Unfortunately, it is an absolutely abhorrent film. Perhaps watching it on a television sells it a bit short without the technology, but the 120fps feels like it was nothing more than a band-aid, covering up the gaping and infected wound that is the script. The acting is equally horrible, but the film is akin to the Star Wars prequels. It has a script so bad that no actor could reasonably be expected to save the film and make the dialogue sound natural or anything better than unintentional comedy. Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk is worse than anyone could have ever imagined.

Starring Joe Alwyn as Billy Lynn, a man who fended off the "enemy" as he defended Sgt. Virgil Breen (Vin Diesel) from being attacked further, the video of the incident goes viral. As a result, Lynn and his fellow troops are shuttled around America on a thank you tour, culminating with an appearance at a not-the-Dallas Cowboys game. Appearing in the halftime show with Destiny's Child, the boys are greeted by definitely-not-Jerry Jones (Steve Martin), his stooges, and the many Americans who thank the troops just to feel better about themselves and meet their patriotism quota. Ang Lee's film explores this hollow patriotism, the horrors of war and what it does to young men in the form of PTSD, and is decidedly anti-war, but pro-soldier. Unfortunately, Lee's script misses the mark. With preachy dialogue that explains every little theme he wishes to explore in the film, Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk is in-your-face and entirely hamfisted. Rather than more nuanced looks at heroism and the need of American society to feel connected to the war through these young men, Lee's script merely preaches at the viewer for nearly two hours. The characters are all incredibly cookie cutter and the scenarios they find themselves in entirely laughable. For example, Wayne Foster (Tim Blake Nelson) - a successful oil industry man involved in fracking - approaches the soldiers to give them thanks and ask how the war is going. Sgt. David Dime (Garret Hedlund) responds by aggressively putting him in his place and preaching Lee's own personal anti-fracking beliefs. In a press conference, Lee has the soldiers being pestered with questions and, before they answer the question, Lynn imagines a fake response in black-and-white that is actually true. Answering a question about the progress of the war, Lynn imagines Dime responding by saying they are doing a great job creating new terrorists. This on-the-nose explanation of what Lee thinks of war is grating and thoroughly unpleasant to experience. For a director capable of great works, it is a shame to see him forget the basic tenant of screenwriting "show and do not tell". By ignoring this advice, you wind up with Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk.

This is further preached at us through Norm Oglesby (Martin). The soldiers are working with Albert (Chris Tucker) to get a movie made about them, but they only have the length of the game to get a deal done (I have no idea why). After initially telling them that Hilary Swank wanted to play Billy Lynn in the movie - which is an offensive joke that finds comedy by mocking transsexuality, again shocking from Lee who made Brokeback Mountain - the deals all fall through. Only left is Oglesby who offers the soldiers $5,500 a piece plus a percentage of the profits for the deal. He then explains to Billy that their story is America's not their own. Naturally, the script has Billy put him in his place and explain that it is their lives and they actually live these events. In the bathroom immediately after, Albert comes in and exclaims that it was like something out of a movie. Hysterical, annoyingly self-aware, and a further example of Lee pummeling the audience with his own personal beliefs and what he wants us to all get out of this film.

As with any awful script, the film is not without horrific dialogue. When not preaching at us, the script still feels inauthentic. It never stops feeling written and it borders on comedy at times. The scenarios they find themselves in - fighting security, fighting an obnoxiously anti-gay guy in the crowd - never feel natural. It all feels so staged and pre-planned. This is a film that never feels real. It consistently feels like it is a movie and goes to great lengths to remind us that it is a film, not just with the interaction in the bathroom with Albert either. While watching the game, Billy shows Albert the cheerleader he made out with earlier, Faison (Makenzie Leigh). Remarking that all great movies have a love story, Lee sets us up for more awful dialogue in the form of this half-baked romance.