Review of Bikini Beach (1964) by Van R — 01 Jan 2010

Evil Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III (Keenan Wynn of THE MECHANIC) does not want teenage surfers cavorting around on the beach near his retirement home for oldsters and sets out to write a smear campaign against them until high school teacher Vivian Clements (Martha Hyer of THE SONS OF KATIE ELDER) comes to their rescue.

Honeywagon complains that the girls run around half naked with boys in bathing suits and no chaperons in sight. Furthermore, Honeywagon plans to make them look bad with his talented chimpanzee Clyde (Janos Prohanska of PUSSYCAT, PUSSYCAT, I LOVE YOU), who can not only ride a surf board but also serves as a chaufeur for his wealthy but prudish boss.

The teens in question are Frankie (Frankie Avalon of THE ALAMO) and Dee Dee (Annette Funicello of THE MISADVENTURES OF MERLIN JONES) and their gang, including Deadhead (Jody McCrea of GUNSIGHT RIDGE).

Meanwhile, a new arrival on the beach is the fabulous British rocker Potato Bug (Frankie Avalon in a dual role) and he turns Dee Dee on so she flirts with him. Of course, Frankie turns green-eyed and tries to figure out a way to get his gal back.

BIKINI BEACH was the third entry in the BEACH movies that co-starred Frankie and Annette. No BEACH PARTY movie would be complete with their nemesis, the infamous Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck of STALAG 17) and his black-leather clad motorcycle gang the Rats and the Mice trying to thwart the antics of our heroes and heroines.

The Potato Bug challenges Frankie to a drag race and Von Zipper and his cretins set out to sabotage the race. None of this sets too well with the raceway owner Big Drag (Don Rickles of KELLYS HEROES) who dabbles in art.

Basically, the plots for these sand, sun, and surf sagas revolved around Frankie and Dee Dee making each other jealous and their lame-brained pal Deadhead making a fool out of himself in his hillbilly hat.

Believe it or not, it took three scribes to scrawl this hilarious nonsense. One of them was William Asher who directed over 100 episode of the classic Lucille Ball television comedy I LOVE LUCY. The bikini-clad babes are visual eye-candy and there is a cameo appearance by a famous horror movie star at the end.

Mind you, BIKINI BEACH has all the depth of a bed pan, but the antics are so silly and stupid that you may wet yourself laughing. Perennial villain Timothy Carey of ONE-EYED JACKS makes another appearance as pool hustler South Dakota Slim and Stevie Wonder does a sing-on as Little Stevie Wonder.

Ironically enough, the Beatles were supposed to appear in BIKINI BEACH, but they hit it so big that their fee skyrocketed and Asher replaced them with a character that spoofed them. Indeed, BIKINI BEACH is an acquired taste like all the 1960 era teenage BEACH PARTY movies from American International Pictures.

Incredibly, the BEACH PARTY movies were a spin-off of the GIDGET movies with the parents taken out of the mix.