Review of Big Trouble in Little China (1986) by Austin D — 21 Feb 2010

In 1986, a mere 1000 years after the world was turned upside down by earthquakes, John Carpenter decided to do it again with his release of the best movie ever made: Big Trouble in Little China. Impeccable acting, incredible story, and phenomenal special effects make this film truly unforgettable. The late Victor Wong provides such an emotional and powerful performance that at times I was brought to tears by his words. In Big Trouble, Vic solidifies beyond any doubt that he was the premier actor of his era. Lo "The Dream" Pan, easily the most terrifying foe in movie history, is a character whom you constantly despise, yet cannot help but sympathize for. Whether he is suffering the curse of Shing Dai, searching for a girl with green eyes so that his curse will be "leaf-ted!", or being plagued by bastard sorcerers, he remains such a mysterious and enigmatic character. However, as Carpenter carefully reveals, we were not brought into this world to get him. Playing second fiddle to The Dream is his main man Thunder, who we really get to know throughout the course of the movie through his extensive dialogue. Memorable lines include: "Suh! Suh! Suh!" and "I can hairp you". Thunder delivered these heartfelt monologues with such passion and vigor that I almost lost control of my bowels. Jack Burton, the protagonist of the film, captivates the audience with his wit, audacity, and overall awesome demeanor. You can just tell that he cares about absolutely nothing except making money, crushing brews, and the Porkchop Express. In fact, after impregnating Gracie Law (a fact not known to many fans), Jack doesn't even kiss her, let alone stick around to raise the kid. His sidekick Wang Chi, a po' Chinese boi, is also entertaining, but wishes that he was Burton with such intensity that it's almost sad.

Overall, there are thousands of reasons I could list about why this movie is so much better than any other film ever made, but my time would be better served watching it again. Do yourself a favor, watch it.