Review of Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008) by Emily-Jane H — 13 Apr 2013

The number one movie at the box office this last weekend was 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua', earning more than 'Nick and Norah' and 'Appaloosa', both of which are far better movies. The success of this film is embarrassing, to say the least. It is the echo of the harsh reality that movie viewers are ready to accept anything, as long as it doesn't make you think. As a society, don't you think that's a little dangerous? We should be striving to see films that stimulate the mind and force you to think.

The story is redundant, but I'll tell you anyways: A Chihuahua named Chloe(voice of Drew Barrymore) lives in Beverly Hills where she is pampered and aggressively spoiled by her rich owner, Viv(Jamie Lee Curtis - why do you do this, Jamie, why?). Viv has to go out of town and trusts her beloved pet to her niece, Rachel(Pipier Perabo). Rachel decides to go to Mexico with her friends to get drunk and party and brings along Chloe. Of course(surprise! surprise!), Chloe gets lost in Mexico. The neice has to find her and get her home before it's too late. There's an unearthly dumb side plot that involves Chloe beings chased by a gang called 'The Dog Fights' who want to put the dog up for ransom.

Let's see: Gay . . . gay . . . gay . . . . and even more gay. The movie starts gay and keeps getting gayer. I, luckily, accompanied myself with a razor blade this afternoon to the theater, and was able to put off some steam when I couldn't take the gayness any longer. By the way, slitting my wrists would have been more enjoyable(and more productive) than watching this movie.

Parents: Kids aren't dumb. Believe it or not, kids are smart. They don't need movies to talk down to them. They need movies that inspire them. This movie is filled with crude jokes, pop culture references, characters that are far too loopy and crazy to be contained, and idiotic characters. I don't think that there was ever a scene longer than 30 seconds. Really. The script must've had a new scene every half a page.

It should be mentioned, that in my theater, not one single child laughed. Ever. I'm not joking. It may have been different in other theaters, but in my particular theater, there was nothing. A lot of screaming, restless kids though. It's not a likable movie. I saw two old ladies - one was very obtuse and balding, the other had buttons pinned in her ears, and they both looked like complete drug addicts - walking out of the theater, and they said, "That was so cute. The dogs were so cute. Weren't those cute dogs?".

I, now, understand the crowd for this movie. If you belong to the old, flabby, drug abusing, obtuse, balding, buttons pinned in your ears crowd . . . than this movie is for you. And you should enjoy it. As the rest of us will point and laugh at you until you fall off the planet and die.