Review of Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012) by Becca B — 04 Mar 2014

This movie is a totally unrealistic piece of crawdaddie crud. Worthless! Is anyone aware that that area would have been (and is) filled with mosquitoes and everyone would have been (and was, in reality while filming) eaten alive??? Just that alone would have ruined that idyllic life that they were supposedly living.

The little girl (not gonna bother with her name. she might as well be Czech with a name like that) even had to be told by the director not to swat at mosquitoes biting her as they were filming. And what about mold, and fire ants, and liver problems and tooth decay??? How can anyone overlook that stuff??? This is almost more unreal than the setting for the Grinch stole Christmas original cartoon.

At least the Who's had electricity and indoor plumbing. And no wonder the Grinch was pissed, he lived w/o electricity and indoor plumbing and not even basic cable, so at least that is realistic, because you would be a Grinch if you had to live like he did, up in a poor ass cave, but at least there were no mosquitoes, unlike "the Bathtub".

And where did people get the cat food? did they buy it (are they all on GA), or steal it? And if they stole it, why did they not just steal human food for their dumb selves??? And if things were wet all the time, why did they not get fungal foot rot like the soldiers in Vietnam? And where did they get the ice?? And what about the snakes??? and a multitude of other inconveniences of their situation that were not realistically addressed.

Hello! Unattended children living with a bunch of toothless alcoholics! Can anyone say child abuse or possible molestation??? At any rate, this is just a live action Disney film of crazy homeless people who live in a swamp.

And the girl is cute. She will probably grow up to be a supermodel, but you can't rest a whole film on the fact that the star is visually and emotionally appealing. That's like giving a good rating to a flop film in which Angelina Jolie is the star.

"Oh, the film is great! Angelina Jolie is so beautiful and alluring!" If you have to defend a film's merits by saying that the star is cute, it's the same as saying the blind date has a good personality.

Some other essentials are sorely lacking. I say save yourself the trouble and just watch Honey Boo Boo. At least it's somewhat real and those hillbillies would never be dumb enough to destroy their own home.