Review of Beastly (2011) by Adam F — 02 Feb 2013

Although setting the Beauty and the Beast fairytale in modern day has some potential and isn't necessarily a bad idea, "Beastly" goes about it all the wrong ways and the results are laughable.

The transformation that "Kyle Kingson" (get it? King's son... as in a prince?) suffers is so underwhelming that the movie doesn't work from the get-go. He just isn't that... ugly.

Unusual looking? yes but when you're a rich tattooed high-schooler with his own maid, personal tutor, motorcycle and a six-pack you won't have to look too far to find someone willing to give you a shot, especially in a large city like New York.

The makeup is the least of the film's problems though. The dialogue is very badly written (upon seeing his brother dead, a character exclaims "My brother... for your daughter!" to indicate that he will get revenge on his brother's murderer by going after the daughter) and often feels like an old man' interpretation of what cool and hip teenagers sound like.

All of the actors in the film deliver pretty lackluster performances, especially Neil Patrick Harris, who can't seem to remember that his character is blind. The film feels padded, with a total of 5 montages and there are several times when the characters act illogically (for example, "Kyle" is told by "Lindy" that he is "a good friend" and yet he still gives her a long elaborate love letter he has been working on only to panic when she starts reading it).

All of these terrible elements point towards a director that didn't know what he was doing and couldn't at any point rein in any of the actors. For all of its missteps "Beastly" is definitely entertaining, in fact it will generate a lot of laughs and surprise you very frequently because of how poorly it is put together.

(Blu-ray, February 1, 2013).