Review of Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973) by Patrick D — 09 Jan 2010
It ends on such a depressing note....
... And not for the reason they intended.
It seems after audiences (read = stupid people) decided that Conquest was too dark, the producers decided to make a kid-friendly and lighter conclusion to the Planet of the Apes franchise.
And what a dumb fucking idea that was.
Compared to the first film's intelligence and social commentary, this entry is like you took a child, hit him in the head with a pipe for a few times, spun him around in circles, and flashed bright lights in his eyes, making him clap and jump for joy.
It's mind-numbingly stupid.
Stupid to the point that it makes me want to fall on my knees and cry out "You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, damn you. God damn you all to hell!".
Behold, as characters say the same thing over and fucking over again!
Marvel at the same footage of a tree exploding repeated no less than TEN (count 'em TEN) times!
Gasp at the "symbolism" of a statue crying!
While I appreciate the post-apocalyptic setting and the costumes from the first movie, the sheer stupidity and bad acting end this franchise with a goddamn whimper.
Unless you count the TV show, which is, despite its own inherent stupidity, good.
And don't count the remake, which is actually dumber than this movie.
This review of Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973) was written by Patrick D on 09 Jan 2010.
Battle for the Planet of the Apes has generally received mixed reviews.
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