Review of Bats (1999) by Steve H — 28 Sep 2009

One probably knows what they're getting into prior to seeing a film called "Bats". Something that could rock in a throwback to 50's horror in all it's sweet campiness. Or just a load of bullshit. It falls into the latter category.

The plot involves a a couple of bat experts (Dina Meyer of "Starship Troopers" and Leon of "Cool Runnings") who hired to by an evil scientist (Bob Gunton of "The Shawshank Redemption") to capture and/or kill a swarm of genetically engineered super bats loose in a Texas town. Of course the stereotypical Texas sheriff (Lou Diamond Phillips, "La Bamba") is there to lend a hand as well.

Why the bats were created in the first place and why Gunton is obsessed with them and believes they follow his every command "Willard"-style (but they don't) isn't ever brought up in one of many plotholes. The ingredients were there for something cool, instead our heroes run around shooting at bats (would a pistol really be the weapon of choice against a zig zagging flying bat?), locking them in a high school, and making plans to freeze the bastards. No time is given to any kind of character development, so who these people are or why we should give a shit if they're eaten by flying rubber bats is beyond me.

The cast play this one totally straight without the "wink at the camera" which is sorely missed. Much could have been done with the characters, including Bob Gunton's gung-ho approach to the whole thing. But the second he starts showing signs of uplifting the film, he's killed off. The effects aren't terrible for what they are, but better suited had the film chosen the campy route. The CGI bats don't work as well, nor does fighter pilot footage, filmed with a completely different film stock, look good at all. Hey, it's 1999 CGI, I guess it ain't horrible. But what about those fuckin jets? Oh yeah, that's just recycled footage from "Iron Eagle II". Guess the lifeless rubber bats used up the whole budget. Or maybe it's Leon paycheck following the critical success of "Cool Runnings" 6 years earlier? He was also in uh...well, he was one of the bad guys in "Cliffhanger". Alongside direct-to-video greats like Lou Diamond Phillips, one wonders how the hell Bob Gunton went from the sadistic warden in "Shawshank Redemption" to being eaten by 6 foot rubber bat. Who knows, who cares. It's not worth much of anyone's time.