Review of Bastille Day (2016) by Tone01 — 29 Jun 2016

Pure Crapola.

Even in the Popcorn Movie oeuvre this film is a major disappointment: Brainless, soulless, insipid, insulting to one's intelligence. But boy are the SFX great! (Who cares.).

It's twenty years too late, for one. Truly despicable, for two. Films created specifically to launch other films, that is. Cobbing an idea from "Falling Skies," "ID: R" finds a friendly ally to fight an intergalactic war against the Universe-Hopping-To-Suck-Your-Planet-Core aliens. You know, kinda like the Borg, but far less believable. I wonder how the alien light drives work fueled by magma. Must be some special gas, er, magma tank to withstand 11,000 F molten metal. Maybe the magma cools. Oh, I see. It's really a drive running on iron. Guess these aliens haven't figured how to mine iron.

Then there's a queen. All that's missing from those scenes is Ripley shouting, "Get away from my planet's core, you ****.

Brent Spiner is ecstatic. Lot's more screen time, and the final word. The rest - Jeff Goldblum and Judd Hirsch the biggest perpetrators - either phone it in or sleepwalk through a story so predictable eyes flutter with drowsiness waiting for it to unfold. And how did Hirsch, all alone, find his son in that huge desert? Magic, I suppose.

There's much to be said for brainless entertainment where one allows the idiocy to run down the back like water on a duck. Then there's braindead entertainment such as this useless, bland sequel to a better, far more fun film. Attend a showing if you must.