Review of Barb Wire (1996) by Adrienne L — 22 Jan 2008

"DON'T CALL ME BABE".

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90's sci fi was a bit of a screw up for many reasons. They all followed the same pattern, war torn corperate futures, small bands of rebels, OTT lighting and generally 90 minutes music videos. None can stand so proudly in this definition than Johnney Mneumoic(??!?), Tank girl and Barb Wire, which in all honesty kinda all blend into one story for me.

BUT what Barb has , other than the "Casablanca with Tits" element is they have Pam. And even though i'm not her biggest fan for the reasons that most people are her biggest fan, I genuinly don't think anyone does toungue in cheek trash quite so well as her. This, Striperella, most of her TV work, just comes with a sense she knows what she's doing and she knows what's expected from her, and even though it's pretty trashy and an easy target it still kinda works in a "so bad, it's good kinda way". Is it just me?

Ok with the only praise i'll give the movie out of the way (was that praise??) This movie is all kinds of stink. Not only is it choppy and down right nasty, the decision making process is insanity. They have Pam. they know her audience. But who do they back her up with? 1) Temura morrison. Ok choice in hindsight, but seriously? 2) the broad from diagnosis murder? and 3) the jon bon jovi lookalike from the "Always" video. I mean come on, even on paper this don't work....does it?

There are a million more reasons why this movie sucks. But I'll end on some kudos. Despite it's whole host of problems this movie seemed to deliver enough to it's target audeince to work. It's got Pam looking comic book hot, with some genuinly well stylized shots for her to bathe in, it's got...wait. No that's it. That's it for the kudos . The rest is just trash. But at least it don't end with keanu talking to a dolphin or Ice T as a Kangeroo...wait a second, was that this movie?

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"....she has big....Assets".