Review of Bad Boys II (2003) by Ron D — 22 Apr 2011

"Bad Boys II" is violent, dumb, vulgar, overlong, and often obnoxious. It is also one of the very best action films of the '00s. Every criticism made of this film by critics (who skewered it mercilessly, for the most part) is true, but in the action department, no one - and I mean no one - blows shit up like Michael Bay.

At least 3 chase sequences are jaw-droppers and there are probably half a dozen shoot-outs that rank among the recent best. Every shot and camera angle in this film, even when characters are just standing around talking, has a larger than life, epic feel to it.

Bay shoots fast cars, lavish mansions, tactical gear, and Miami locations as if they were sexual objects. "Bad Boys II" is porn for action junkies. Unfortunately, there is dopey script and plot that keeps getting in the way and pads the movie out to an almost insulting two and a half hours.

It's a testament to the stars' talent and chemistry that they alone make some of the dialogue and pointless comic-relief bearable where a lesser pair would surely have failed. The scenes, for instance, where Smith and Lawrence dig through the bodies of corpses for smuggled drugs and money, spill cadavers all over the streets of Miami during a car chase (in a car they steal from Dan Marrino no less), and berate a young man taking Lawrence's daughter out on a date really have no business in this movie, much less to be played for laughs.

And they certainly shouldn't be as funny, exciting and well-executed as they are. But Smith and Lawrence's comic timing and Bay's sturdy direction make these scenes highlights where, in lesser hands, they would just be ugly and out-of-place moments (only a goofball scene involving the two going undercover as exterminators goes too far into near-"Nuked Gun" territory, even for a movie that is already essentially a ridiculous comedy at its core).

There are also jarring tonal shifts between grisly violence and sitcom-level misunderstandings and coincidences. Yes, this movie is a mess. But it is an insanely good-looking and action-packed mess. Nobody does this sort of thing better than Michael Bay, and this might be his biggest, most hardcore, alpha jerk-off to date, surpassing even the movies he's made in which giant alien robots pummel the ever-living shit out of each other while Megan Fox stands around half clothed, for some reason.

If he ever decides to get his shit together and combine his awesome visuals with with a script that carries some originality and emotional weight, he could be the next Spielberg. But then we wouldn't have movies like "Bad Boys II", and that would be a shame indeed.