Review of Babylon A.D. (2008) by Patrick B — 06 Oct 2009

Babylon A.D. has the action, the setting, and the potential to be a great movie, but a shaky plot and pathetic screenplay fail to make this film anything more than a cheap knockoff of a true sci-fi epic.

The premise is simple: a mercenary named Toorop (Diesel) accepts a job to smuggle a girl from Mongolia to America. They are accompanied by the girl's caretaker, Sister Rebeka, played by Michelle Yeoh in what has got to be the most embarrassing movie role for her since Tomorrow Never Dies.

What starts off as a strong plot with an interesting setting quickly devolves into a vague, generic piece of shit. There's no real way to sugar coat it, and what's most frustrating is that if you ignore the plot, ignore the uninterested actors, and just focus on what could have been, you'll see it. You'll see Kassovitz. You'll see what he had envisioned, which I believe was a truly great sci-fi movie, a Blade Runner for this generation.

Instead, though, you get a cliche-ridden story that is filled with gaping holes, leaving you in the dark most of the time. You get forgettable characters played by actors who deserve more than what they got. And you get a horrible ending. The entire final act of this movie wasn't good, but the last five minutes was just bad. Nothing's resolved. Nothing's explained. It's just fucking stupid.