Review of Babylon A.D. (2008) by Jim M — 21 Jul 2010

Based on a viewing of the Theatrical Release.

In the near future the world turns to shit devistated by Climate Change and WMDs. In this world a new religion has emerged the Noelites, a Russian mobster Gorsky (Gerard Depardieu) hires American Mercenary/Exile Toorop (Vin Diesel) to escort a special young woman and her protecter (Melanie Thierry and Michelle Yeoh) and deliever them to the Noelite High Priestess (Charlotte Rampling) in New York City. A job made more difficult due to the lawlessness of the countryside and the mysterious group following them claiming to be sent by Thierrys Father.

OK hears the thing, studio execs I do hope you read this or something like it........ITS RARELY A GOOD FUCKING IDEA TO CUT OUT AN HOURS WORTH OF FILM IN YOUR MOVIE! What we're left with is the bare bones of a plot that leaves waaaay to many questions ie we're never 100% on what the High Priestess' deal is, and she just kinda dissappears at the end. What we're left with is a bare bones plot with a few functional but not really thrilling action scenes. Nothing to get excited about, though I would like to see a version with the restored hour of film in it. Functional time waister nothing more.

Update.

Add an extra half star for the unrated (ie European) version of the film which is slightly better but still suffers from the same problems. Of note though is the Noelite High Priestess is also refered to as the CEO of the Noelite Church. Well this cynical view of religion jives with the film Fox was apperently afraid to offend and cut out those bits.