Review of Babylon A.D. (2008) by Janed — 18 Mar 2009

This was appalling. I saw it on dvd so maybe some scenes were removed, and also we had to watch it on my brothers computer where you can't turn the subtitles off. However. The future always looks either poor or rich in futuristic films and this one chose the cheap option - poor.

But having everyone living in burnt out apartment blocks warming their hands over 40 gallon drums is not very imaginative. Frying up a cat was vaguely interesting. Then all the action scenes are cut to buggery to disguise the fact there is no fight choreography.

That is also cheap n nasty, and a waste of Michelle Yeoh. By the time you discover there is no story, for example they NEVER REVEAL what is so special about the damn babies, you don't care anyway.

Any entertainment you derive from this movie comes from inside your own head, and I failed and went to make hot drinks. The only visually imaginative bit was the submarine. Also, Toorop, who is meant to be protecting his clients, keeps stomping off through the crowded market leaving them to follow.

Even if you go to a rock concert with your mates you make better sticking-together arrangements than that. Charlotte Rampling was just doing a Judi Dench imitation. Female villainy needs to diversify a bit.

Yeah, so, I can't think of a good thing to say about it. The first half of the movie has hardly any story at all and no background, and the second half summarises some world-changing climax without giving any details.

It's not even so bad it's good, and you will regret watching it.