Review of Babies (2010) by Shiira — 11 Aug 2010

At a party, in Max Mayer's "Adam", a proud mother tells Beth(Rose Byrne) and Adam(Hugh Dancy), "You gotta see the baby," then as a mere formality, asks, "Would you like to see the video?" Afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome, Beth's date answers, "No, thank you," because people with the autism spectrum disorder have a pathological need to be honest.

"Babies" is Adam's worst nightmare; it's also a nightmare for people who despise reality-based TV programs such as "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" and the forthcoming Octomom series. Are babies being babies entertainment? No.

The babies have to be entertainers, too. Accidental ones, that is. The scene in which Hattie(the San Francisco baby) eats it on her tricycle, face-first, is too YouTube for comfort. Bayarjagal(the Mongolian baby), whose mother allowed cameras in the delivery room, is still attached to an umbilical cord as a means of introducing himself, but thankfully, he's extrinsic to the vaginal aperture; no crowning.

"Babies" is not a "sex hygiene" film like William Beaudine's "Mom and Dad"(1945), but the scene in which Bayarjagal's face gets sprayed with his mother's breast milk, the moviegoer suspects, is satisfying somebody's uneasy fetish.

If Adam was a film critic, and had to comment on the maternal nudity in Nambia, he'd describe the southern African subcontinent footage as resembling something akin to a National Geographic special directed by Russ Meyer.

Truth be told, Ponijao is constantly upstaged by his mother's enormous mammaries, whenever both the baby and the baby's lunch are in frame. Although "Babies" is not meant to be political, the moviegoer can imagine prospective parents wanting to adopt babies like Bayarjagal and Ponijao.

Juxtaposed against the United States and Japan, the babies of Mongolia and Nambia have the appearance of being at a disadvantage.