Review of B. Monkey (1999) by Frank J — 17 Jun 2007

I had no idea they made a movie about my first 'relationship' out of college - holy crap, the names and events were changed to protect me, but man, this was TOO CLOSE TO HOME. The really scary thing is, the movie does bring back memories of my relationship with... uh... 'Jane'. Here, a woman in trouble wants to change, and tries her best, but she just has so many bad habits, like stealing and killing people. What to do if you meet someone who cares and you want to change? Runaway to the country? Break up? Or kill a bunch of people who are chasing you? My advice - if you're the guy in the film, make sure yours ends after the first encounter, or you'll be eating a gun pointed at your head by a woman who 'loves' you - and she wonders why he can't at first...well...you'll find out. I didn't even realize this is the same girl in xXx with Vin Diesel! Go see this if you think you've made some bad decisions about relationships - you'll feel better.

Oh, the similarities btwn my past relationship and this movie end when it comes to killing people with guns. Just kidding! We never used guns! Uh, I mean, much... we never used guns MUCH.