Review of AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004) by Alice J — 14 Feb 2012

I am a huge Alien fan. The franchise was one of the most memorable parts of my childhood, and along with Star Wars, was the series of films that truly inspired my love of cinema. I've owned all the movies in all their iterations, and I'm up to my eyeballs in collectibles. It pretty much went without saying that I would see this movie, just for the fun of seeing the aliens on the big screen again.

Surprisingly, it's not THAT bad.

You have to approach this film with an open mind and take it for what it is: a novelty film that's nothing more than a lot of fun. It's not a great piece of cinema, it's not a wonderful addition to either of its respective franchises, but you could do a lot worse for a popcorn-movie on a quiet Friday night at home. (And let's be honest, at least it doesn't take a huge crap on its fellow Alien films the way Alien3 did.).

The most positive things about this movie are pretty much surface. The art design and special effects were top-notch for 2004. The aliens have never looked better, and the Predators were never as menacing until their recent reboot. The Alien Queen (my personal favorite) was beautifully done, rivaling her appearance in the 1986 "Aliens". Paul W.S. Anderson truly shows his respect for the franchises in his approach here. Every glob of slime, spray of fluorescent blood, and drip of drool was done with obvious love. For those fans who want nothing more than to see their favorite monsters alive and well, this film does its job.

The biggest problem with "Alien vs. Predator" is that Anderson is not James Cameron. The characters are horribly static, and give you no reason to care whether they live or die. Unlike "Aliens", where every character resonated with the audience on some level, AVP presents cookie cutter caricatures that serve only as a canvas on which to set loose alien jaws and predator blades. The heroine (Lex) is dreadful, and she is so far below Sigourney Weaver's Ripley that it's almost comedic. This alone would be forgivable, but Anderson also lacks Cameron's skill in creating tense, exciting action scenes. There were a handful of really cool fight scenes, but the majority were far too short and not at all satisfying. Most of the Predators die as if they were toddlers wandering around in a gang warzone, and the human characters are all so lost that its almost a mercy when they cop it. Even the climactic fight between the heroine, the last predator, and the Alien Queen, was a disappointment. The Queen's animation was so amazing that the fight had incredible potential, but it was over in a matter of seconds. Not to mention, there's no suspense here because you'll find yourself hoping the Queen will kill Lex, just as I do even 5 years later.

The bottom line is, this is not "Aliens". It's big, loud, and dumb. But it's also a fun novelty, and its PG-13 rating makes it a decent way to introduce younger generations to an incredible mythology. If you're a fan of either series, check it out for the heck of it. Just rent it first.