Review of Automata (2014) by Meritcoba — 30 Oct 2015

(Note: I do not like a scoring mechanism that runs from 0 to 10 and therefore I devised my own value system, which works as follows: 1 for bad, 5 for mwah, 9 for good. 10 for superb.).

Because it happens, the robot answers.

And there you have it. The final answer to all questions in life: because it happens.

Why does the earth revolve around the sun?

Because it happens.

Why does the sun burn the surface of the earth?

Because it happens.

And why are there no zombies in my backyard?

Because it happens?

No, because I don't have a backyard.

It happens.

I wonder why. I wonder a lot of things. Why for instance do they wear plastic see through rain coats in a world that knows no rain?

Well, cause it happens.*.

Why is that doctor killed by kids?

Cause it happens.

And why does a story like this sizzle out into an underwhelming fight and philosophy that impresses by how vapid it is?

Cause it happens.

Case in point: you can't be killed when you are not alive.

Astounding observation.. how about making the same remark several times, just so we do not forget the philosophical, moral and social implications?

Here you go : you can't be killed when you are not alive.

Impressive...

So what is alive?

Oh uh. Let's not cross that bridge shall we. We only got two hours that we already filled mostly with robots and people trudging through dystopian landscapes, that are in fact mostly desert scenes and of the dusty grey kind. No time for anything too complex. Let's just repeat the remark to bedazzle everyone with our deep philosophical thinking.

Another question then, more down to earth: why are the bad guys moronic idiots given to destroying pretty expensive robots that pose no threat and killing people at large?

Cause they have shotguns. And everyone knows: weapons are meant to be used and: the gun defines the gunman. The shotgun thus defines a killer.

So why did the robots change?

Because it happens, the robot says.

A tale told in five minutes stretched out two hours to answer the one question that drives the movie and which never gets the answer it deserves. Rock bottom story telling.

The final mystery is this: how could this movie have happened?

Answer: shyte happens.

---.

* The real reason of course is that some people are impressed by other people's imagery and thus the plastic rain coat, used in Bladerunner, Brazil and in 12 Monkeys, has become the staple ingredient of dystopian movies. It is either a very lazy rehash or a homage: you pick the option you like.