Review of Artemis Fowl (2020) by Beckthewolf — 14 Aug 2020

What the heck did I just watch? This was one of the worst films I've endured in a long, long time. Not sure if it was as bad as A Wrinkle in Time 2018, but wow was this horrible. The film never really strays from outside the mansion and the general area around it, the story felt rushed and empty, and the dialogue made no sense.

It all felt lazy with terrible edits (slowing down clips, thus making them look choppy and broken,) bad camera work (at one point it felt like I was watching it through a security camera,) continuity errors (like having a character be fired from a rocket and flying for hours to reach a destination but have the rest of their team show up in a matter of seconds,) bad acting (the father looks like he's in a constant state of distress,) bad CG (it just looked so fake and dated at some points) and terrible phony "Irish" accents.

I cannot put into words how bad this film is and how frustrated I was when and after watching it. It's not even so bad it's good. It's a complete mess. Disney, do us all a favor and never make another live-action movie.