Review of Apocalypse Now (1979) by Jared B — 29 Nov 2016

This is garbage. It's way too long, tells a very simple story but meanders often. Half of the dialogue is impossible to decipher with either loud helicopters or thick French accents obscuring the spoken lines.

And the story is beyond stupid. Army hires assassin to go up river and assassinate rogue, enigmatic colonel gone mad. The film takes forever to get there, and the protagonist just takes his boat right up to the madman's encampment where he is promptly captured, interrogated, tortured, and broken.

What kind of plan was that? Didn't try sneaking into the camp at night or something? Do a little recon? And the actors were no better. Sheen just stares blankly most of the time and Brando is just boring.

The mates on the boat were the only thing mildly entertaining but they're not given much to do. I am truly shocked this movie is well thought of. Utter trash.