Review of Annabelle (2014) by Chris O — 21 Jan 2016

The fact that as of today, "Annabelle" has made around $84 million is absolutely absurd, and production companies will not stop spitting out these crappy horror movies until our wallets say otherwise. Since it seems like these senseless, and meaningless horror movies will continue to get made for the rest of our lives, we might as well take it as an opportunity to learn how not to make a quality horror film.

"Annabelle" although showed glimmers of potential, it is full of dull scares and emotionless acting, and is accompanied by an absurd and boring storyline.

I strongly recommend to anyone who considers watching this movie not too. There's so much more you could do with your life, and there are plenty of quality horror movies out there. Go watch "Goodnight Mommy", "The Babadook", "Sinister", "It Follows", or "The Conjuring". All of these movies are much better than Annabelle, and in fact, pretty much any movie is better than this one.

Here, we follow the story of a doll named Annabelle, who is used as a tangible object for a demon to attach onto, so that it may pursue the souls of its victims. We saw our first glimpse of Annabelle in the film "The Conjuring", which I certainly loved. Despite the plot being ridiculous already, this movie does nothing to make it better.

There was literally nothing scary in this movie, and although there were a few ideas that had potential, none of them resulted the way they should've. There are plenty of fake scares and cheesy moments in this film that are accompanied by loud, jarring sounds. It really takes away the intensity of the moment, and there was not one moment where I was hiding behind my blanket in fear.

Although the actors in this film would work as very minor roles in any other film, neither of our main characters manage to put on a good performance. Neither of them were able to relay any true emotion, and it never felt like they were actually scared of the situation. It looked like they were two crappy actors that were getting paid for starring in a garbage movie, and although I hate saying that people are bad at their passion, it was just too noticeable in this case.

The thing about having a doll as your antagonist is that it just isn't scary. If this was happening in real life, I would either A.) Punt the sh** out of that doll. B.) Get a knife and cut it into little bits and pieces, or C.) Never pass it on in the first place. I mean, lets be real, no one in their right mind would intentionally pass this doll onto others based on its look, because it looks horrifying and ugly. It's just ridiculous in every way, and at no moment was I invested into the plot.

I will never forget the first time I saw this trailer, and it was in theaters. That moment when the husband gave his wife the doll and she responded with "it fits right in", everyone in the theater groaned out of agony. They knew just as much as I did that this was stupid, and the reasons behind the movie were just downright awful.

The only thing I even remotely liked about this movie was a scene early on where the couple is getting attacked by a cult group of maniacs. It was semi intense and unsettling just a tad, but other than that, nothing else in this movie was really impressive.

In the end, I found little joy in this movie. Being the huge horror fan that I am, I'm pretty open to most horror films, but this was one of the worst horror films I've seen in my life. In the end, if it weren't for the glimmers of potential or the exciting first scene, I would've given this movie half a star, but instead of full on exorcising this film, I'm just going to kill it and say this movie deserves a star.