Review of Anaconda (1954) by Luke P — 06 Oct 2009

The term "so bad it's good" may well have been invented for this film. A completely bad and ridiculous film in every way, but if you embrace it for what it is then your guarenteed a highly entertaining 100 minutes or so.

A cast of cardboard-cutout characters, portrayed by the likes of Ice Cube (streetwise ghetto guy), Jonathan Hyde (snooty Brit), Jennifer Lopez (extremely sexy chick who would never actually do the job she has in this film) take turns embarassing themselves reading the overly-dramatic, unintentionally funny lines.

The real star of the piece though is Jon Voight, hamming it up something rotten as the villain, spouting lines like "this river will kill you in a 1000 different ways" while seemingly trying to do his best Robert De Niro impression throughout.

He's a professional snake hunter you see, and he's after the biggest prey there is, a 50 foot anaconda! Part bad CGI (which apparently cost $100,000 a second!), part animatronic puppet thing, big ass snake action is what we came for, and we get it come the explosive finale which sees two heavyweights of the music world (J'Lo and Ice Cube) blow the heck out of that pesky snake.

Come on, your tempted now aren't you? How about if I tell you that comedy heavyweight Owen Wilson gets eaten by the snake? Sound good? Yeah, I thought so.