Review of Anaconda (1954) by Lindsay Elizabeth M — 16 Aug 2010

Asshole in one.

Although others hated this film, I loved it. If you look past the biological and natural inaccuracies, you might enjoy this film as much as I did. There are no scares - unless you're pretty jumpy - but the way the snake devoured its victims was awesome. The final death scene was... wow. I never thought I'd hate Jon Voight in a role, but as the maniacal snake hunter Paul Sarone, well, he succeeded. I really wanted to feed him to the anaconda! xD A cameo by Danny Trejo (known for his role in the From Dusk Till Dawn films) topped the entire film for me.

Terri Flores (Lopez) heads a team of documentarists who are assigned to film a hidden tribe in the Amazon. She is accompanied by British expert Warren Westridge (Hyde), anthropologist Steven Cale (Stoltz), sound mixers Gary Dixon (Wilson) and Denise Kalberg (Wuhrer), and cameraman Danny Rich (Ice Cube). Their guide for the trip is boat captain Mateo (Castellanos), who has a secret motive. While on their way to the tribe, they meet and rescue a stranded explorer named Paul Sarone, who says that he's looking for a rare anaconda who lives in the Amazon. Before Terri and her crew know it, Cale encounters an accident (he openly disagrees with everything Sarone says) and Sarone himself has taken command of the boat. They are now forced to help Sarone hunt the snake, which turns out to be a fatal move for most of the crew.

A definite must-see; compared to other snake films (save for Snakes on a Plane, of course), Anaconda delivers a sucker punch to the gut. This film teaches you to be careful to SWALLOW your food when you eat. >:).