Review of Anaconda (1954) by Caleb H — 03 Jul 2012

It's easy to forgive the inherent flaws with any B-Movie, even one the rips as liberally from Jaws as this one, but did the snake have to scream?! Anaconda is the kind of silliness that managed a theatrical release in the days before the Sci-Fi Channel was churning this sort of movie out on a monthly basis, and you get exactly what the title offers.

A movie about a big snake that eats everyone. Anaconda blatantly rips off Jaws (The 'snake-cam' especially), but the blood and gore is unwisely kept to a PG-13 level, something the subsequent (and awful) sequels would rectify by giving the screaming snakes stingers as well.

The big problem with Anaconda is that the cast, for the most part, is taking the material seriously, which really doesn't work when you're being chased by a giant animatronic / CGI snake. And then there's Jon Voight, who seems to think he's playing a Latino cross between Snidely Whiplash and a drunken Bela Lugosi.

His insane snake poacher is easily the most entertaining part of the entire film, leering perversely at the women, speaking broken English that makes Tony Montana seem like a linguist savant, and chewing up the scenery until there's nothing left.

If everyone else had taken a cue from Voight, Anaconda would have been bizarre, hammy fun. Instead, we get a B-Movie with a too-serious-tone, and a lack of any decent blood and gore. The special effects are decent for the time, but, by today's standards, the snake looks a little silly.

Anaconda isn't terrible, but it isn't as good as it should have been either, especially considering the undemanding nature of 90's creature features.