Review of Anaconda (1954) by James C — 28 Feb 2013

Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez) is a Director. She has come to the Amazon with the rest of her film crew to make a documentary on a long forgotten native tribe. The crew are on their journey down the river when they come across Paul Serone (Jon Voight). He appears to be stranded and they take him on board. But rather than a local fisherman he is actually a snake hunter on the trail of the world's largest snake. He takes over the boat and keeps the crew hostage in an attempt to capture and sell the reptile.

Luis Llosa (Director) has produced a whole string of bad movies set in the Amazon, with the exception of The Specialist ... which is set in Miami. So if you know anything of Llosa you will probably be able to predict what's in store with Anaconda.

Many people would label Anaconda as a Horror movie, or perhaps an Action/ Adventure movie. Personally, I think it's more of a disaster movie. Everything from the red writing at the beginning to the credits at the end is a complete disaster. The film is full of bad special effects, worse acting, poor film making, terrible continuity, awful clichés and is less factually correct than Bigfoot's birth certificate.

As far as the actors go I feel that Ice Cube was by far the best on screen. Everyone else was embarrassingly painful to watch especially Jennifer Lopez who can barely deliver a line. I think this was noted early on and any line edited down to just a few words, such as; "OK", "Come on", "Are you OK", etc. Her acting is far scarier than any snake in this film.

Believe it or not Jon Voight was once a highly respected actor, I have no idea why he even signed on to do this role. For whatever reason, half the film is taken up by him pulling various faces.

I giggled throughout Anaconda at just how bad it was. I think that if the project was approached more light-heartedly and the film delivered in a more comedic fashion that the film would deliver much better. That fact that it is approached from a straight-faced, serious angle is a major downfall.

You could see Anaconda as a film that plays homage to other Horror "creature features" of the 70's and 80's, but this is a bad tribute band given too high a budget. Given that they had $45,000,000 at their disposal I have no idea what they spent that kind of money on.

Although Anaconda is a terrible film it was a great investment for anyone financially linked with it. It grossed a total of over $136,000,000 at the box office and coined 3 sequels. In short it was a huge success, noting that it made three times the amount it took to make. Sometimes bad movies can lead to a windfall in the industry called show-business, of which Anaconda is a shining example.